Until I can put some of my ranting thoughts in order, I’m posting some of my old “blogs” from the MySpace days. Considering they’re more than 2 or 3 years old, they’re quite outdated. They’re also pretty ridiculous in nature—so not much different than now.
Originally posted on MySpace June 6, 2007
I posted this in response to a friend's blog a few months ago. I still think it's the most brilliant idea I've ever had, which is to say I never have brilliant ideas... Read on...
I've heard that a person burns more calories eating celery than the number of calories that celery actually contains. So, assuming that nicotine is 0 calories and knowing it's addictive, we should figure out a way to add massive amounts of nicotine to celery, so that all a person wants to do is eat celery. People would take celery breaks at work, eat celery when they're socially drinking, eat celery because it's "cool," and they'd have a stalk after sex while asking the question "Was it good for you?" Weight loss in action! And because you'd be consuming a veggie that's high in vitamin C (an antioxidant!) all friggin' day long, it would cancel out the whole cancer thing. I should write a book with loose references to medical journals I've never read to support my "facts" about the benefits of my fail-proof $elery Diet. I need investors! Who's with me?!?
No comments:
Post a Comment