My friend is having a birthday get-together tomorrow. We're going to downtown Fullerton to have dinner and drinks with some of his friends, most of whom I know and are good acquaintances of mine at the very least.
Well, my friend sent me a text today asking if it would be ok to invite my ex-girlfriend to the get-together since he and she are still friends. (In fact, he had a crush on her before she and I dated and even after we broke up.) Also, the ex-girlfriend is one of the best friends of the bartender with whom I made the Crossfit bet. Since the bartender and her boyfriend are going, my friend thought it would be good to invite my ex-girlfriend as well.
Anyway, I told him it's fine. But really it's only fine because who am I to decide who he gets to invite to his birthday party? I'm not looking forward to seeing her at all. Not because of any discord I have with her or anything of that nature, but because I now find myself comparing my progress of the past year to hers. We broke up just about a year ago. I haven't seen her recently, but I know through my friend that she's lost a lot of weight. The last time my friend and I had spoken about her months ago, she had lost over 40 lbs. I gained 20 over the last year. She also has a boyfriend who is apparently some kind of model. I don't look like a model; I never will. I haven't dated anyone over the past year. I don't even have any nice new clothes. I'll be wearing the same lame style of clothing that she's seen me in many times before.
I know it's silly and I shouldn't even care, but despite the progress I've made in the past year with work and getting my own apartment, it does make me think that my physical appearance, well-being and how attractive I feel is still no better than a year ago.
No comments:
Post a Comment