E-books

Why are eBooks nearly just as expensive as their paper counterparts?

There's no continued printing cost, not really any reprinted editions, no shipping cost.  It's just the cost of developing an electronic format of the book, right?  This process is probably pretty digitized as it is, so I can't imagine the continued cost of creating eBooks being all that costly.

I suppose there's no reason to drop the price of eBooks as it seems there's a big market push for e-readers and such.  I also suppose it's because I don't read that much that I don't care about the portability of a book.  I usually read only at home, so it's fine to hold a book.  I prefer to hold a book.  I like the feel of it.  I like displaying it on my bookshelf when I'm done reading it (or displaying it on my bookshelf before I read it, as there are many, many more unread books on my bookshelf than read ones).

Or maybe I just don't like seeing what is clearly a gross markup in price to maximize profit.  In any case, with apps for smart phones costing only a few dollars, I don't see why something that is only words on an electronic screen should cost much more than that.

One. Single. Year.

One is singular.  So why do some parents say "one years old" when referring to their baby's first year of life? 

If I have had an iPod for 365 days, I don't say I've had it for one years.  Just one year. It's a year old.  Same goes for babies when they're that age.  They're one year old.  When they've lived through two years, you can then say two years old when describing a baby's age.

Electric bill

Since I've moved into my apartment, I've used the air conditioning excessively, absolutely more than necessary.  I like it cold, but I haven't needed it to be cold.  And despite the cool weather we've had in general over the past month, I've still been running the air conditioner very cold, often forgetting to raise the temperature or turn it off when I leave the apartment. (I know, bad environmentalist!)  In the very small recess of my mind that discerns reason from instant and selfish gratification, I was a bit worried about what my first electric bill might look like.

I received it Friday.

$50.  Fifty dollars.  That's probably less than the one-fourth portion of the electric bill I paid during any summer month at the house I used to live in and was miserable most of my time spent at home due to the cool air dissipating too quickly in the heat.  I'm living in total comfort now and paying the same amount.  I. Am. Happy.

Happy to live where I'm in more control of my living environment.

A selection from my melancholy playlist

I have a melancholy playlist in iTunes.  It's for when I feel mopey.  When I feel quiet.  Calm.  Pitiful.  Depressed.  It's for when I feel melancholy (obviously).  I probably listen to a few songs off from that playlist every week.  They're not all slow or depressing songs.  Some are just a little on the mellow side.

A few years ago, before music seemed to only be contained in playlists, iPods, and Pandora--no longer shared in a tangible "mixtape" fashion--a friend of mine used to appreciate the mix CDs I created.  I would usually mix in clips from movies or odd interludes. I put a lot of effort into many of the mixes, the order of the songs, the introduction and usually the closing.  There was a flow, or at the very least a reason a song would be in its place (and probably not obvious to anyone except myself).

My friend posted quite a few months ago that she missed the mixes I used to make.  I knew that she had shared the same melancholy disposition I have had and still do from time to time, so I knew she'd appreciate a mix CD of this nature.  Although I still haven't sent her the CD, I culled a selection of songs from my Melancholy Mix to put the first of what I'm sure will be more than one Melancholy Mix I'll send her eventually.

The XX - "Intro"
Stars - "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"
Great Northern - "Driveway"
Maurissa Tancharoen & Jed Whedon - "Remains"
Regina Spektor - "Hero"
Joshua Radin - "One Of Those Days"
Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - "Falling Slowly"
Pink Floyd - "Wish You Were Here"
Pearl Jam - "Nothingman"
Jimmy Eat World - "Gotta Be Somebody's Blues"
John Mayer - "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room"
Imogen Heap - "Hide And Seek"
U2 - "Love Is Blindness"
Band Of Horses - "The Funeral"
Jeff Buckley - "Hallelujah"

The following are songs that will most likely go on the next CD whenever I get around to making it.

Joshua Radin - "When You Find Me" (feat. Maria Taylor)
Jon Foreman - "The Cure For Pain"
The Smiths - "Asleep"
K's Choice - "Not An Addict"
Gus - "Don't Fear The Reaper"
Caedmon's Call - "Center Aisle"
Alice in Chains - "Don't Follow"
Nine Inch Nails - "Hurt"

I hate my body.

My cousin's wedding is coming up in two weeks.  I'm fairly certain I have some big boy dress clothes somewhere in my closet.  I'm also fairly certain I'm a bigger boy now than I was when those clothes fit me.

I need to shop for new clothes for this wedding and it's part of the reason I hate weddings.  Not only do I get to witness yet another couple happily marrying, reminding me that my marriage failed and I haven't had a relationship that lasted more than a few months since then, but it's also a reminder that I have a belly that sticks out over my belt line when I tuck my shirt in.

You'd think this would be some kind of motivation for me to lose weight.  You'd think that.  But I've been this way for nearly all my life.  I've only been "trim" for a few months in 2003 when I was on the Atkins diet after 9 months and lost over 60 lbs.  I'm addicted to food.  All kinds. And I'm lazy.  It's a bad combination and it's unattractive.

Dwelling on certain failures

My friend is having a birthday get-together tomorrow.  We're going to downtown Fullerton to have dinner and drinks with some of his friends, most of whom I know and are good acquaintances of mine at the very least. 

Well, my friend sent me a text today asking if it would be ok to invite my ex-girlfriend to the get-together since he and she are still friends. (In fact, he had a crush on her before she and I dated and even after we broke up.)  Also, the ex-girlfriend is one of the best friends of the bartender with whom I made the Crossfit bet.  Since the bartender and her boyfriend are going, my friend thought it would be good to invite my ex-girlfriend as well.

Anyway, I told him it's fine.  But really it's only fine because who am I to decide who he gets to invite to his birthday party?  I'm not looking forward to seeing her at all.  Not because of any discord I have with her or anything of that nature, but because I now find myself comparing my progress of the past year to hers.  We broke up just about a year ago. I haven't seen her recently, but I know through my friend that she's lost a lot of weight. The last time my friend and I had spoken about her months ago, she had lost over 40 lbs.  I gained 20 over the last year.  She also has a boyfriend who is apparently some kind of model.  I don't look like a model; I never will.  I haven't dated anyone over the past year. I don't even have any nice new clothes.  I'll be wearing the same lame style of clothing that she's seen me in many times before.

I know it's silly and I shouldn't even care, but despite the progress I've made in the past year with work and getting my own apartment, it does make me think that my physical appearance, well-being and how attractive I feel is still no better than a year ago.

A review of the Top 10 Reasons I was Going to Love My Apartment

I've lived in my apartment for three weeks now.  There are definitely things I needed to get used to—noisy neighbors, noisy shopping center across the street, worried about being too noisy for those below me—but I'm already feeling at home.

I wrote Top Ten Reasons I Will Love my Apartment before I moved in.  Let's see if those reasons have stood legit:

TEN
I won't be completely embarrassed or held back from inviting a girl to my place, rather than to my room.

Hmm. Haven't really done this yet, but my apartment is still a little scattered.  I wasn't really able to unpack much the first week because I had plans to go out every night that week.  Now's it's just a matter of organizing the mess I have left.  I’m also in no hurry to do this. I just like that I could if the opportunity ever arose.

NINE
I can lounge in my underwear. I suppose I could've done that before, but that would've made my housemates very uncomfortable.

Check.  Well sort of.  It's not loungin' but I have no problem walking to the kitchen in my underwear to get a glass of water.  And I sleep naked in bed much more often than I used to.  Sorry for the gross visual, but it's true.

EIGHT
It'll be my TV in the living room with my recorded shows. And I'll get to watch them on a couch instead of from a bed.

Check.  In fact, I've probably done a little too much TV watching since I've moved in.  I'm even discovering new shows, as if I should make time to watch them.  Last Friday was the first night since I've moved in that I started reading my book again.

SEVEN
Since my TV will be in a living room and not a bedroom, I'll have room for Rock Band! (And a Kinect if the games get a whole lot better).

Haven't done this yet, but it'll happen soon enough.  I hooked up the Xbox last week, but I still have to hook up the surround sound speakers to the TV. It's time to test the loudness threshold my neighbors will have.

SIX
I'll have a 24 hour fitness center to work on my cardio. It's midnight and I feel like getting some stress out of my system by walking? No problem. Mosey on down to the fitness center feeling safe and secure during my walk.

I've only been down to the fitness center once since I've moved in, but it sure is nice.  The cardio equipment even syncs up with my heart rate monitor and can download progress to my iPod.  Pretty nifty!

FIVE
I can leave the door open when I shower so it won’t be hot and steamy in the bathroom to the point I'm sweating buckets by the time I'm done shaving.

I don't even have to do this.  It doesn't get that steamy in the bathroom since it's a fairly large bathroom. Plus, the bathroom exhaust fan does a good job of keeping the steam to a minimum. At worst, I can crank the air conditioning and stand right in front of a vent to cool down.

FOUR
No more stairs!!! Walking upstairs after a workout and, well, just in general pretty much sucks.

Check.  I love this.  My parking space is in the parking structure on the same floor as my apartment.  That means no climbing stairs with excruciating pain after a Crossfit workout.  It also means no bird crap on my car, no moving my car due to street sweepers and my car is constantly shaded.  Bonus!

THREE
My own kitchen! Gas stove! My own kitchenware! I can stock the pantry, freezer and fridge FULL of what I want. Costco, here I come again.

Check! You bet I went to Costco the first week after I moved in!  I've already cooked more meals since I've lived in this apartment in the past three weeks than I have in the past 6 months of living in the old house.  On the other hand, with no stairs to separate me from the fridge, it's a lot easier to raid the fridge when I'm bored.  Gotta be careful of over-snacking.  And I still don't have any real plates yet.

TWO
Air conditioning any time I want! As cold as I want!

Check.  It's polar icecap cold in my apartment, bitches. And it's perfect that my couch is positioned right where one of the vents blow the cool air.  HEAVEN!  But I'm a little worried what the amount of my first electric bill will be.

ONE
My parents will get to come visit me.  They haven't been down to California in about 7 years. I'll finally have a place where they can stay with no concern for sharing a bathroom or kitchen, or whether or not they'll be too loud for my roommates.

I've already proposed the idea to my parents and they're as excited about it as I am.  They'll probably come down for the holidays, which also means I can decorate for Christmas if I want.  Joy to the world and joy to my apartment, too!

I’d say I love my apartment so far.  I’m really happy that I’m living in a place of my own.  It still feels odd at times. And there have already been moments when I feel extremely lonely and really want some social interaction with a friend. I expect that to happen occasionally though, so it’s not something I dwell upon.  It’s all the more reason to read a book or use the fitness center anyway.  It feels good to have my own space.  It’s a huge boost to my confidence to have my own place.