It’s amazing how a song can evoke (or is it provoke?) emotions. I’m a very emotional guy. Probably comes from being a momma’s boy. It takes a conscious effort to keep my emotions in check and sometimes I lose control. But I hardly cry a real cry. I’ve only cried once since even before my divorce because I seriously wanted to die.
“A Little Bit Stronger” by Sara Evans came up on my iTunes. I decided to look up the lyrics and even tried singing along, but midway through I broke down and cried. What the fuck? I know what emotions I’ve been going through lately, but damn.
I hate when circumstances are out of my control and I know I’m helpless. SO, today I started controlling what I can. I started a diet today, have a plan to workout at least 3 times a week and curb my alcohol consumption. I should have done this six months ago when I set my New Year resolutions, but my focus was laser focused on someone else and I lost touch with working on me. I’m trying to convince myself that this time all of this is for my own health, and I know I will feel that way when I see results. But right now, it’s really just to get the focus away from everything and back to my own well-being, especially mentally and emotionally. Fake it ‘til I make it, right?
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