2010 in Review

The last two posts were a bit vehement in nature, so here’s something a bit positive.

Being a pessimist by nature, it’s quite easy for me to see the negative and dwell upon it.  Having a positive attitude and optimistic outlook is something I continually have to work at.  So to say 2010 was a good year for me is an understatement.  The fact that I can recognize several good things happened in my life last year is uncharacteristic of me.  I’m pleasantly surprised and I’m a bit proud of myself for getting to a point where I can truly appreciate what’s happened despite my overall disappointment with my status in life. Some events that occurred in 2010 were low-points for me, but they turned out to be blessings over the course of the year.

Here are some highlights:

• I started dating seriously.  I was really happy with this person.  She made me smile every time I thought about her.  Her positive attitude really rubbed off on me.  For probably the first time ever, I was not jealous if she talked to other guys.  I was not wondering who she may have been flirting with when I wasn’t with her.  I felt secure that she was loyal to our relationship and I was the same.  I was intensely infatuated with her. Unfortunately, we broke up after a few months and I went through a period of extreme bitterness.  We don’t really speak to each other now.  Although I have no ill will toward her, it’s probably the first time I feel like a bridge has been burned in any of my relationships.  But I’m over it now and I know more of what I want out of a relationship and know that I don’t have time to waste on wishy-washiness and excuses.
• I was laid off from my job in April. But about a week later, both the former VP and a former director of the department I used to work in called me to do some contract work for their respective companies.  I soon started earning the same level of money, if not more, for less time and stress than I did before.  And I was learning new things, which refreshed my interest in my career field.
• I visited Seattle four times last year, five if you count the trip starting in December 2009 ending in January 2010.  I was born and raised in Seattle.  It will always be home.  My parents still live there.  Because of my living situation and their financial situation, my parents have not been able to visit me in California for the past 5 years. So I’ve flown up to see them, usually around the holidays. I was able to fly up in March with my ex-girlfriend (thanks to the kindness of a friend who worked for an airline and gave us discount passes), I took advantage of the fact I did not have full-time employment and drove up over July 4th weekend, I flew up again in September (thanks again to my friend in the airline biz), and then finally once more for Christmas.  I’m truly thankful I was able to see my parents (and of course friends) so many more times in the course of one year than I had been able to before.  I hope I can do so again this year.
• In one payment I paid off a $4000 loan (without using another loan or credit card to do it!).
• I saved up enough money to take a trip to Chicago in the fall of 2011.
• I've bought a new laptop. I bought a used iPad. I bought a new cell phone.
• On the trip when I drove up to Seattle, I stopped in Vancouver, WA and was able to see one of my cousins who had terminal cancer.  He died in November. Not that we were close, but I knew him and remembered him from when I was a kid and all the family parties, so I was thankful to get to see him before he passed away.
• I made some new friends that are really fun to hang out with, and with whom I went to see a taping of Conan O'Brien's show, "Conan." (I saw myself on TV that night too. Not that you'd be able to notice because I was cut off in the close-up shot.)
• I went to my first college football bowl game.  I went to the Holiday Bowl in San Diego with one of my best friends, her boyfriend and a friend of his.  We watched and celebrated as the Washington Huskies beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers.

The crazy thing to me is that most of this was done without having a full-time job.  It really gave me some perspective on how much can be appreciated when I realize that life doesn’t have to rotate around a 40-hour work week.

Something else that also seemed to stand out for me in 2010: I laughed. A lot. I’m catching glimpses of happiness and a shimmer of self-worth. I’m more aware of the good things happening in my life.  I’m taking more opportunities to be thankful for what I have and with what I could live without.