I’m far too emotional

I’m turning into a fucking drama queen. My tweets are solid proof of that.

It’s no secret I’m crazy about a girl who, for now at least, can only be my friend though it’s very hard to let go of the feelings I have for her. Last night I was able to spend some quiet, alone time with her. For that bit of time, I felt peaceful. It’s also times like those that make it incredibly hard to feel happy the next day, when it feels like there’s a void in my life, when my mind can’t do anything but remember how alive I felt the night before and how empty it feels when I wake up alone.

I was randomly watching TV this morning and ended up on CMT, watching the Top 20 Countdown. Country music can keep me in a good mood when I’m already feeling good. But if I’m in any emotional state of mind (does that even make sense?) it’s the worst thing for me to listen to. It instantly becomes cliché. I watched a video from Lady Antebellum called “Just a Kiss.” I rewound(?) it on my DVR and watched the video 3 times again while looking up the lyrics. The very first verse couldn’t have been more spot on to describe the time with my friend last night. So? I cried. Because I’m getting too emotional over her. It’s a sinking feeling when I can’t do anything about the one I want so terribly to spend all my waking hours with. Today’s going to be a hard day despite pretending to be happy around friends this afternoon.

Lady Antebellum – “Just A Kiss”
(copied from azlyrics.com)

Lyin' here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms
We don't need to rush this
Let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, oh, let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight
With a kiss goodnight
Kiss goodnight