Lisa Crampanelli

Why does anyone like Lisa Lampanelli's standup?  I view her as a cliché trash-talking, racist mom from the East Coast.  What she spews is not comedy.  That's noise.

A Short 2012 Review & 2013 Preview

Overall I'm pretty happy with how 2012 turned out and it has me a bit excited for 2013. Here's the short and sweet of 2012 and what I hope to accomplish for 2013.

The highlights of 2012:

• I won my weight-loss challenge of losing 70 lbs in 7 months. I had lost 83.  I'm embarrassed to say I've gained quite a bit of it back in my belly, but overall I'm still staying active and getting to the gym on a regular 3x to 4x a week basis.
• I have a girlfriend! Among the several things we have in common, she’s beautiful, she makes me happy, makes me laugh, and we're good (and improving) at resolving any conflicts we have--a very healthy change in my life.
• I got involved in some fun leagues--kickball (2 leagues), dodgeball and beach volleyball.  All of those leagues have led to introducing many more friends (and in turn many more social activies) into my life.
• I competed in a Crossfit competition as well as several mud run races, most of which I thought would be impossible for me to do in 2011.
• Skydiving! I finally achieved a long-time goal of going skydiving, which was an incredible experience, one I wish to repeat every year if I can.
• Ziplining. This hadn't been a huge priority in my life, but it was the first weight-limited thing I had done in the year. It felt SO good to be under a weight limit for a specific activity.

Goals for 2013:

My top two goals are definitely the most typical new year resolutions—money & health. However, this year I'm taking specific actions to ensure I stay on track.

• Start a budget and stick to it - Building wealth (or even a comfortable cushion of savings) is difficult if you don't know where your money is actually going. Although I can't quantify it, I'm fairly sure 2012 was a fiscal disaster to my bank account. One of the major factors was not anticipating the social aspects of joining kickball; I spent a lot of money on going out, particularly on food and booze. Tracking my spending would've been a great reality check to that factor. My utmost goal this year is to eliminate as much of my junk debt as possible, leaving only taxes and perhaps my school loan left to deal with by the end of 2013, while still being able to budget in some fun activities and other financial goals.
• Diet & exercise - This is my second most important goal. I gained far too much weight back after winning my challenge, and it's no surprise with how I have gone back to the horribly unhealthy eating habits of my past especially around the holidays. It's time I accept that eating "Paleo" will probably be the ultimate way (dare I say lifestyle?) of eating for me if I plan to stay within a healthy weight for the rest of my life. I simply cannot deny the other benefits I've had while on the Paleo diet and the ailments I've experienced since going off of it.
• Generally improving my time management/productivity skills - I waste a lot of time at home, usually on Facebook, Twitter or over-napping. So this year, I want to make better use of my time, especially with tools such as Remember The Milk and Evernote as well as Google Calendar. I also want to give Inbox Zero a try.
• Read a book a month - This is a pretty aggressive goal for me. I didn't do so well making time to read books last year—time most likely spent dorking around on Facebook.
• Be of good cheer! - It's easy to take our lives of convenience and ease for granted and come to expect the things many people cannot afford, must do without, or do not have the health to perform. It's important to appreciate what I have and be happy simply with that.

Things in motion:

Even though 2013 has just started, I've already taken steps in the right direction.

• I've canceled my cable. Not only does this free up about $80 a month, it limits the amount of inbound programming I'm watching. Fewer shows, if any, will accumulate on my DVR basically allowing just Netflix or Hulu Plus shows/movies to be available for me to watch. I also tend to have a "list-making" (and completing) obsession. Not having any shows building up on my DVR that I have to "complete" will probably help reduce unnecessary subconscious stress in that regard.  Another benefit of limiting what I watch will be freeing up some time to accomplish my aggressive goal of reading more.
• I'm creating meal plans for a few days ahead at a time, at least for dinners. Having a plan of what to eat and knowing I have food stocked specifically for a purpose will help me avoid eating out due to not having an idea what to eat. The hardest part of this will be the fact I'll have to prep and cook instead of simply picking up conveniently heated food, but this goes back to making better use of my time.
• I've linked my Facebook events to my Google calendar so I can comprehensively keep track of social events. I've also accepted the fact I'll be saying "no" to several events this year, and when possible put the money I would've spent on those events into something productive instead like paying down a credit card or saving in one of my SmartyPig goals.

All in all I'm definitely poising myself for a productive, healthy and much more financially sound year. Let's do this!

Don’t be a dick

I'm mean to myself. I'm allowed to do that. And I may be harsh on some other people, including my friends and especially those who seem to get under my skin.  But don't be a straight-up dick to those who serve you.

The OC can feel like the epicenter of self-entitled, rude people. So many residents think they deserve all the riches in the world, yet seem to show hardly a lick of work or effort to get it.

Two days in a row I witnessed this rude display of self-entitlement.  Normally, maybe it wouldn't affect me as much, but since it's around the holidays it feels excessively rude.

I was in line at the Carl's Jr. drive-thru to pick up lunch. On Christmas. I had my window rolled down and could hear the lady in front of me making her order again and again because the Carl's Jr. employee didn't seem to hear it right.  The lady was getting irritated to the point where she kept cutting off the order-taker. When the order-taker told her to wait one second (it sounded like the order-taker was getting someone to assist her), the woman in the car continued to rant her order, adding phrases like "for the 10th time!" and "what's so hard to understand?"  Her order of course was completely customized and she had over-complicated the order with about 5 "no" items on a burger when she could've ordered it plain with 2 items. What killed me was that she had a sticker on her BMW saying "Winner!" of whymymomdeservesadiamond.com.  Really?  If the criteria is to be a condescending bitch, then I can see why.

The second display of entitlement. The day after Christmas, I went to the bank to deposit a check.  A sign on the front of the door said they were not doing any cash transactions due to a vault issue. However, there were machines at the counter inside at which customers could still deposit/withdraw cash. As I was waiting in line to deposit my check, a lady had come in and was reminded by a bank associate that cash transactions could only be made through the machines today.  The lady was appalled and loudly stated she hated banks and that now she could not pay her bills for the month. When the bank associate asked the lady if she had her ATM card to make her transactions through the machine, she said yes. However, she refused to use the machine on principle; she wanted cash from a teller and wanted something to be done about it.  When you have an alternative that is just as safe and convenient, why argue about it?  Let it go, lady.

Here's an example in which I could've huffed and puffed. Today, I went to Starbucks for a coffee, using a gift card my landlord gave me as a Christmas present.  I ordered an eggnog latte.  I received a hazelnut latte.  I told the barista it was supposed to be eggnog, mainly to be sure I wasn't confusing my order with anyone else's.  She apologized and offered to make another one. Now, if I was a typical OC resident, I would've made a stink, probably made the barista feel like scum and demanded a Venti instead of the Grande I had ordered.  Instead, I told her not to worry about it, that it was ordered from a gift card so it's not a loss to my wallet, and I like hazelnut anyway. Another barista apologized as well and handed me a voucher for a free beverage for the next time I go there.  See?  Be nice and nice things happen. I forget that far too often. Hopefully, I can be of holiday cheer year-round.

America’s Tire

This place rocks. Specifically, the one in Costa Mesa. It helps to make an appointment.  I took my car in for a tire rotation/balance (free for the life of the tires if purchased from America’s Tire). It already seemed fairly busy there.  My car was done before I had time to listen to two songs on my phone’s Slacker Radio app!  Gotta love great, expedient service!

Hollow acclaim.

It occurred to me a while ago a friend of mine desires recognition without accountability. He wants to have the greatest outcome that makes him look favorable with minimal effort.  Usually I'd say that's "working smarter, not harder."  Not this one. Bear with me; there's a history of this behavior. But my annoyance is ever-increasing, and my tolerance for it is wearing thin.

The opposite of the type-a cliches like "no guts, no glory" and "do more, suck less" came to mind as my friend told me he wanted some help with an idea—well let's call it a project—he wanted to eventually share with a mutual group of friends, but wouldn't tell me what his project was. I asked him why he was being secretive. I suspected it was because he wanted to claim full credit for his idea and gain approval that he seems to desperately need. (Again, history there.)  I don't even remember what his first response was, possibly because it could've been legitimate. His follow-up statement was that he didn't want people asking him about his project if he announced it, in case he didn't follow it through to completion. Pussy. That's the next thing that came to mind.

Now, I'm not saying I complete every goal and project I've ever started. I've had lots of ideas fall by the wayside (and have been called out on a few). But I am willing to accept responsibility for not following through. I'll take responsibility to having no other excuse than laziness or even fear of getting started. It's being honest with others and ultimately with oneself. That's part of having integrity.

It has usually bothered me when someone won't take responsibility for their actions, particularly their failures. But now I'm not sure which is worse—one not taking responsibility for their actions (or lack of action), or a person avoiding taking the initiative unless it comes with guaranteed success just to avoid accountability.

Cheap quality taste buds.

It's fascinating that someone (including my old, fat self) who's so used to processed foods could think something that's cooked naturally with as little preservatives and added sweeteners as possible, is flavorless.

When sugary and carb-loaded foods are almost completely eliminated from the diet, the natural stuff (like fruit, herbs and juices from meat) tastes so much sweeter.

Something to keep in mind as I eat healthily for the Whole Life Challenge.

Still not a family man

A friend of mine posted on Facebook last night that she’s pregnant.  This is a friend with whom I had a conversation a few years back about marriage, and she had sworn she would never get married. She didn’t believe in the “institution” of it.  She was probably in her early to mid-20’s at the time. I’m not even sure she’s 30 yet.

Now she’s married, almost done with nursing school, and has a baby on the way. Even though I’ve hardly spoken to her in years, I am happy for her. To have a change on her outlook of life means hopefully brighter things could happen in my future as well.

But for today? I feel like a failure at becoming the family man I once thought I’d be. I can’t even hold a relationship.